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Writer's pictureMangia McCann

Will the U.S. Skewer Iran in the World Cup?

Alright folks, this is it. Do or die. Go hard or go home. Win and we’re in! Today is the last game in the US Men’s National Team’s Group Stage at the World Cup. If we win, we’ll move on to the knockout round (Group of 16) and most likely face whomever locks-up Group A today (this post was written prior to the 10 a.m. Eastern kick-off). Netherlands are the odds-on favorite, as they should easily defeat Qatar. Wouldn’t it be amazing to see both Qatar and Iran eliminated today? Yes, Qatar is the host nation, and you typically pull for underdogs. But, much like Iran, the countries are run by dogmatic neanderthals who do not value human rights, sexual identity, and freedom of the press, nor treat women as equals. I try to keep politics out of this blog, but these countries (not all of their citizens, mind you) are horrid and deserve nothing but ridicule, embarrassment, and defeat.

But, back to the food! For my next (and, hopefully not last) round of “Eat ‘em & Beat ‘em” I have made a wonderful Persian feast of kebabs and jeweled rice. This was my first time making real-deal kebabs, where you mix the meat with onions and spices and form it around a very long and wide skewer (not the skinny skewer kebab with chunks of meat and veggies you typically think of). The sweet pops in the rice, among saffron and other regional flavors, stood-up-to and complemented the spiced, charred, savory meat snacks. I even broke out my little Smokey Joe Weber grill for these kebabs, squatting next to the charcoal fire, turning the skewers often to ensure the meat cooked evenly. So, get down and dirty with your cooking by following these delicious recipes while cheering on the good guys: let’s go USA!

Persian Kebabs and Jeweled Rice

You will need 1-inch wide kebab skewers for this recipe. A charcoal grill works best, but you can use gas. Either way, you need to remove the cooking grate to ensure the meat doesn’t hit/stick the cooking grate while hanging over the heat source.


Rice

  • 1 teaspoon Saffron

  • ½ stick of butter

  • 1 medium onion, halved and sliced thin

  • 2 cups Basmati rice, rinsed and drained

  • 2 tsp ground cumin

  • 1.5 tsp ground cardamom

  • ¼ tsp ground coriander

  • 2 carrots, peeled and grated using the large holes of box grater

  • 1 cup dried cranberries

  • 1 tsp finely grated orange zest

  • ½ cup shelled pistachios, chopped

Kebabs

  • 1 medium onion, peeled and halved

  • 1 lb 80% fat ground beef

  • 1 lb ground lamb

  • 1 tsp Ras el Hanout

  • ½ tsp turmeric

  • ½ tsp sumac

  • 2 tbsp butter

  • ½ tsp lemon juice

In a small pot, crush the saffron threads between your fingertips and add 2 ⅔ cups water, along with a pinch of salt. Warm over medium-high heat until the saffron blooms and the water turns golden yellow. Reserve.


Melt the butter in a medium12-inch skillet, over medium heat, then add in the onion slices and cook until softened and lightly golden brown, about 10 minutes.


While this cooks away, light your charcoals with the underside vents wide open (alternatively, high heat on a gas grill) until fully ashen, then spread the coals out into an even layer.


Return to your rice, adding in the cumin, coriander, and cardamom, along with a pinch of salt and black pepper as well as the rice. Cook, stirring occasionally, until the rice is toasted, about 5 minutes. Then, add in the carrots, cranberries and reserved saffron broth. Bring to a boil over medium-high heat, then cover and reduce, cooking for 25 minutes. Then, turn off the heat and let the pot sit, for an additional 5 minutes, and hold until ready to serve.


Meanwhile, prepare the kebabs by placing a clean kitchen towel under a box grater. Grate the onion using the large holes. Over a medium bowl, wrap up the grated onions in the kitchen towel and twist until taught, squeezing as much juice from the onions as possible. Reserve the onion juice and place the onions into a large bowl with the ground meats and spices.


Season the meat liberally with Kosher salt and black pepper and mix everything together, for several minutes. Unlike making a burger, you want the mixture over-worked having a pate-like structure. Dive the meat mixture into sixths. Grab one portion and start to roll it into a log shape in your hands (you may want to wet your hands to do this), then press a skewer down into the log and begin wrapping the meat around the skewer. You will need to mess around with the shape and thickness to ensure the meat is as evenly spread out as possible and securely fastened to skewer. Finally, pinch the meat in half-inch intervals.


Repeat with the remaining meat/skewers, placing them on a baking sheet to hang. When completed, sprinkle the kebabs all over with some of the onion juice. Set aside and prepare a baste by melting the butter in a small pot, stir in the lemon juice and 2 tsp of the onion juice and keep warm while you grill the kebabs.


Place 3 kebabs over the hot coals and let them sear for about 40 seconds. Then, flip the skewers and allow them to sear another 40 seconds. Start turning the skewers to cook the sides, about 20-30 seconds each, then flip to the original side that was facing downward and continue to grill for about 3 minutes. Be sure you rotate the kebabs in order to obtain even heat/cooking. Flip and baste and continue cooking for another 3 minutes or until the kebabs are cooked, giving a final baste when removing the cooked kebabs back to the baking sheet.. Repeat with the remaining 3 kebabs.


Once the kebabs are completed cooking, add the orange zest and pistachios to the resting rice. Fluff and stir to combine. Portion the rice onto a plate along with the de-skewered grilled meat from the skewers. We ate the meal as-is and were completely satisfied. But, you may want to also serve with flatbreads and a mixture of yogurt/sour cream, or even my tzatziki from a prior recipe. ______________________________ Copyright 2022, Brendan McCann, All Rights Reserved.


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